I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize