I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
