Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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