Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
