dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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