I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize