at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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