The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
