my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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