office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
