Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
