Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
