Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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