You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
