brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
