Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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