"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
