Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
