I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
