We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
