Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
