Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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