Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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