I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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