Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
