that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
