I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
