I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There's even glitter on my cock...
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