At least make sure they are 18
Why
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
