pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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