It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
