Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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