I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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