Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
