I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
