i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Green mimosas i think yes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
