I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
