Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
