I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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