I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize