Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Best friends brother. Beat that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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