We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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