I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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