Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
