areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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