God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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