the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
