I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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