your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
