he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
