yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
