Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize