I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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