The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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