what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
