I have demons in me.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
