Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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