she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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