walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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