i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
3 2 1 whiskey
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
