Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize