thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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