I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
