Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
