Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Fuck appropriateness.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
