Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
